Sports Journalism is Making Me Stupid

I grew up playing sports (basketball and baseball) and I've followed both at the professional level intermittently. I am mostly an eye-test fan, eschewing averages and stats over the pure entertainment factor. My all time favorite Houston Rocket is Ron Artest. I had a similar affinity for Carlos Gomez's tumultuous tenure in center field-- I'm in it for the characters! Honestly, I can barely wrap my head around what an adjusted +/- stat actually means.  In order to better understand the game(s) itself, I recently dipped a toe into the toxic mudslide that is sports media. Wow, what a regrettable decision! I would place sports journalism realm (aka men's gossip) well below the spineless muckraking of TMZ. 

It shouldn't be surprising that facts don't matter in sports journalism. The players themselves cling to athletics' answer to rosary beads, Livestrong wristbands with magical powers instilled to the wearer via hologram technology. If you find this strain of pseudo-science tough to swallow, wash it all down with some ionically infused alkaline battery water. Tom Brady recommends the use of brain exercises, and also plays on after sustaining a concussion. Whatever it takes to win!

After the game, the locker room reporters don't ask real questions; "Talk about the fourth quarter". That's not a question! The reporter is then free to speculate wildly about how the answer reflects a lack of work ethic and disloyalty to the always innocuous fanbase. After the next game, the reporter will ask how the athlete responded (in game) to outside criticism by the media. "Talk about how what I say outside of this room about you affects your performance" (also not a question).

Call me crazy but I can't listen to two adults argue about Michael Jordan's legacy for two hours on a weekday. Just give us what we want. MIC. THE. PLAYERS.